Still Moving

May 16th, 2006 - 6:37am by Slye Fox

And moving and moving and moving... as in "Bueller, Bueller, Bueller"...

The Falls didn't work out. After a month of being jerked around, enough is enough and we've started the hunt for a new place. Whatever it is, I've little doubt it'll be worth the wait. In the mean time however, being homeless isn't that grand. Sure I'm getting up earlier than ever and getting to work at unheard of hours, but mooching off of friends for couch space really isn't my cup of tea. Although I'm incredibly greatful that I've got such great friends that I can do that. Thanks people.

So we'll see. I've gotten another storage unit in the mean time. (I can only keep my shit in the company truck so long.) I would hope that at the end of the month, things are looking much better for our antagonist.

On another note - I was digging through my boxes and piles of crap that are left and found a little archive box that had all of these old (just post-high-school) love letters from my ex in it. I didn't know I still had them. It's amazing what I turn up each time I sift through my stuff and weed it out. It's been 11 years since that time. You know - on seeing the envelopes, I had this surge of fond memories refill my head. I started recalling how much fun we used to have together and how well our personalities matched. A whole new flood of emotion that I thought I was rid of started elbowing it's way back into place.

Anyway, having nothing better to do, I read through them. Of course, now I'm (and she) are older and wiser and much more mature, but still, it's pretty clear how self-righteous the letters sound even back then. Please - don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to bring a whole new shit-parade down on my ex, it's just that the warning signs were there even from the beginning. It's amazing how we're able to not see the things we don't want to when we're trying to cope with and make a relationship work.

Now in light of today's dilemmas and tribulations, I can see similar circumstances. I've got to do better in not folding my own personality for the benefit of someone else's. Even if I prefer the age old "love before war" adage, one must maintain and value one's own identity without comprimise. This hardly means I'll be morphing into a non-caring self-serving asshole (I hope), but it does mean I'm going to make a major effort to put my best interests first for a change and try to fix my own damn life before really sharing it with someone else again. Wish me luck.