Minneapolis's Finest

December 10th, 2009 - 2:17am by Slye Fox

Let me tell you a story...

With the end of yesterday's big snow storm, I spent a good two hours shoveling the various pathways around the Manfort. But it took the plow until around 11:00 PM to come through and clear the road to the curb. So after finishing my evening movie, (Transformers II), I put on my coat and headed out at half past midnight to shovel a path through the snowbank before the snow turned into the icy equivalent of granite by morning.

A couple of shovel-fulls into it, I notice a cop turn the corner and come down Chicago Ave toward me. He flicks on the spotlight and blinds me as he pulls up. I'm sure I looked quite menacing in my blaze orange winter coat wielding a snow shovel. [rolls eyes] We have the following exchange:

Passenger-side Cop: What are you up to?"
Me (wanting to say, "Looking for buried treasure"): "Shoveling snow."
Passenger-side Cop: "Why are you shoveling in the middle of the night?"
Me (probably looking more than annoyed): "So that I can clear this path before the snow turns rock hard."
Passenger-side Cop: "Well, it's dangerous to be in the roadway. You should probably do that in the morning."
Me: "So you're saying it would be less dangerous when there's twenty times more traffic on the road during the day?" (Oh snap! I secretly congratulate myself)
Passenger-side Cop: "I suppose you're right, carry on then."
Me: stares at idiot cop waiting for them to leave...
Passenger-side Cop: "Have a good night." And they drive off at 5 miles an hour for the next two or three blocks.
Me: "Alright, buddy. Enjoy that donut. Dumbass."

Now my lack of a successful alliance with our local police is no secret, but I thought that was just effing ridiculous. Thanks for wasting 5 minutes of my life. And good job protecting our community against those dangerous midnight snow shovelers.

December 10, 2009 - 10:36am
Sarah says:

Hahahaha!! I hate cops....

December 10, 2009 - 2:11pm
Tiffiny says:


December 10, 2009 - 2:33pm
jesusrock7 says:


If I'd had a mouthful of rootbeer just now, you'd owe me a new cellphone! LOL

You should post that on ljtwincities. Tempted to email my brother in Colorado (on the force) but don't want to offend him.

December 10, 2009 - 3:43pm
Betsy says:

I don't know if you know this, but violent shoveling crimes against cops have skyrocketed in the last couple of days.

December 10, 2009 - 5:49pm
Sarah says:

No wonder they harassed you Ryan...I'll bet you look pretty intimidating while wielding a shovel ;)

December 10, 2009 - 10:20pm
Renee says:

Now if you were walking around with a shovel and there was no snow... that'd be something to question you about! :)

December 11, 2009 - 12:35am
Slye Fox says:

In that case, I'd use the shovel to keep the cops at bay. It would be my secret power weapon like in the Mystery Men. There'd be a headline like this:

Snow-Shovel Man attacked by cops - thwarts their evil plan to spread Starbucks throughout the world with his trusty snow shovel.