Rabbit Socializing - Seriously

February 24th, 2009 - 3:16pm by Badger

I have recently decided to do some volunteering work. I have had a couple of jobs in the past in which I was in a position to help people in some way. Those are probably the most satisfying, (and frustrating), jobs that I've ever had. Most days you feel very fulfilled. It also looks extremely good on resumes and will provide me with some professional references, which are desperately needed. I figure if no one will hire me for a paid position, maybe I can work a free job into a paying gig.

Anyway, I was cruising the internet looking for volunteer opportunities that suit my experience and availability time frame and I stumbled onto an ad requesting rabbit socializers for 1 1/2 hours per week. Come on! Rabbit socializer -- you have to be joking. What kind of nut spends time and energy thinking up ideas like this, and then actually going through the work of posting it on the net for normal people to ridicule?

As we all know, rabbits are only good for a few things; eating, making warm leather glove liners, providing feet to hang from your keychain, (or rearview mirror if you're Latino), and having fragrant smelling shampoo squirted in their wide, innocent eyes. You definitely do not socialize with them.

What would a rabbit socializer even do? Do you bring them to the local bar, share a carrot, and talk about the Vikings' chance next year? (Zero, by the way.) Do you take them dancing? Feed them a bunch of chocolate and hope they shit out a Cadbury Egg?

Do rabbit socializer's have to wear a wool coat and floppy hat like the Horse Whisperer? Do you get extra eggs when the big day comes around? I mean that could be the only possible upside to a deal like this -- maybe they put in a word with old EB. Either that, or you could test your shampoo on them -- just in case the people at Johnson & Johnson did not quite do a thorough enough job.

Whoever posted this ad on the net couldn't possibly be serious -- unless they have a PETA card, because, as we can all see from there now infamous Sea Kitten campaign -- those people really are nuts. What I cannot figure out though is why. Why would you post something like this unless you're serious -- or seriously on a trip up to crackhead canyon.

February 25, 2009 - 12:09am
Rabbit says:

Only one way to find out..