The Most Interesting Man in the World seeks assistant, will it be Mr. Whaley?

December 1st, 2008 - 12:11pm by Slye Fox

You may or not be aware of the Dos Equis contest for placing an assistant to the Most Interesting Man in the World. Our common friend, Chris Whaley, has risen through the ranks of competitors to the lofty position of one in ten nominees. Seriously folks, that's out of a pool of more than 9000 -- he's managed to convince enough people that he's interesting enough for this lofty position.

Go read his online profile and submit to clever tidbits such as this:

CURRENT OCCUPATION:
It's not so much an occupation as a little game I like to play: I call it "Keep Alive". It involves constantly redistributing debt over a variety of credit accounts and eating sushi on Tuesdays....

or:

UNIQUE QUALIFICATIONS:
As mindful locuteur of the Most Interesting Man in the World, I would be sure to keep my public statements to a minimum - both to preserve your mystique and avoid any unnecessary scuffles with pretenders to that honorable title....

Chris needs your vote. Do it now. Read on for simple and easy to follow instructions from Chris himself.

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope you are all enjoying this holiday weekend and that my message finds each of you well.

I am writing to ask that you
vote for me, "Chuck Xavier Montrose", in an online competition.

(the "vote" button is at the upper right corner of my profile)

Skip to "Directions" if you're already convinced.

I know ... I can see your eyes glazing over from here. But hold on -- I'd do it for you.
... and you owe it to yourself to enjoy the sweet taste of success (vicariously) if I win.
... and I owe a couple of you money -- this could be your one and only chance to get it back before Armeggedon.

So, before you send this to your Spam folder along with all those emails telling you that you may have already won, please take a moment to consider what I could win:) if I win, I'll be given:

  • A cash prize / stipend (which I could really use right now)
  • The chance to travel (which is really what has me excited about the possibility of winning)
  • A whole lot of beer (which I will be happy to share with all of you whether or not you vote)
  • and

  • An appearance in one of their TV ads.

If I'm lucky, I might even be able to convince them to let me stay on as part of their marketing department (they do like my writing).

I'd like you to know that I wouldn't send a group email if I didn't think I had a chance. There is a chance that I could win - I've already gotten into the top 10 (out of over 9000 "applicants" -- a smaller number of which were actually taking it seriously like I was) and submitted a video to go from the top 25 to the top 10.

The promotional event / competition is sponsored by Dos Equis (owned by Heineken) and centers around the search for an assistant to their fictional mascot "The Most Interesting Man in the World".

I have some serious competition in the other applicants and could use some votes to keep me on the judges' radar.

So, I am asking you for one vote on their site between now and noon next Sunday.

For those of you with OCD, EHS (Extreme Helpfulness Syndrome), or an addiction to the clicking sound your mouse makes when you vote for things online: You have the option of voting once each day until voting closes. You also have the option of telling all your friends, making postcards and promotional t-shirts and otherwise using whatever left-over campaigning energy you have to rocket me to victory.

Directions

Please go to this website:
http://staythirstymyfriends.com/finalists/#two
Enter your age to verify that you are over 21,
Scroll down to the second profile ("Chuck...")
Have a laugh at my (partially) fake bio
and vote* for me, "Chuck Xavier Montrose"

(*They will ask for your email address. I'm not sure if you need it to complete your vote, but just to be on the safe side, please give them your junk email address or use your regular address and just make sure to leave the "send me promotions" box unchecked.)

The other candidates are pretty damn funny too -- please enjoy their humorous entries if you have time, but remember -- I'm not asking for your unbiased evaluation of the candidates: I am asking for your vote! And I want bias. lots of it. for me. If you can't muster up some bias for me, I'll take pity or confusion. That's right -- I'll even take votes that were intended as online pizza orders.

Thanks to those of you who vote and everyone, please take this an invitation to chat and catch up if I haven't talked to you for a while.

Sincerely,

Chris Whaley

PS -- the second two responses on my profile are transcribed (almost) accurately from the video I submitted. "Rug-hugging", "moot point, ... moot point" and some unintelligible wording in the beard section are all typos / innacurate transcription. I was impressed that somebody listened to it carefully enough to get most of it right, so I haven't complained - I just don't want you to think your voting for someone who would use the word "moot" twice in one sentence.

PSS -- for those of you who don't know my educational background: I studied Spanish, International Relations, and French in college, lived in Mexico for a semester and worked at the American Chamber of Commerce while studying Mexican government and US-Mexico relations.

Other than taking a yearly trip to one place or another (NY, WA, MS, Puerto Rico, 10 Western states, the grocery store, etc.) and maintaining a humorous blog for a couple of years, I haven't done much since. Winning this competition would be a great chance to put some of my skills to use.
... and man, do I need to travel.
no offense to the greater Twin Cities area, but the suburbs are driving me nuts, it's Winter, and I can't afford to appreciate the metropolitan culture.

PSSS (starting to sound like a punctured tire) -- even my parents voted for me. One of my aunts has launched a blitz campaign on the Internet on my behalf (but without my permission, if she breaks into your house to vote with your computer).

Remember -- you can vote each day for Chris, so bookmark the link above and revisit to vote each day for the next week. Let's help him win!

December 11, 2008 - 4:02pm
Slye Fox says:

Update: They didn't choose Chris as the winner, but I still think it's quite an accomplishment to be in the top ten. Congrats, man!