Doctors and Dentists and Vets, Oh My

April 3rd, 2007 - 8:30pm by Slye Fox

Sid and I oughtta eat more apples I guess - the Rabbit, too. While the Rabbit battles shingles (I'm still not convinced it's not space herpes1), Sid finally had his nuts cut off and I'm back from the dentist. Actually, I have to go back. Tomorrow. Que the Jaws music...

1. The Ice Pirates - one of the best 80's movies ever and only recently released on DVD. (Moved to the top of the queue, baby!)

With some things I'm diligent and stay up to date, like being way too anal about my DVD collection. But with others, I'm a little more lax -- like the dentist. It's been about 6 years2 with my estimate since I let any of their evil ilk peek in my choppers and I was prepared to keep it that way, too. Then one of my fillings popped out on Saturday while flossing and bounced in the sink. Dammit! Now I have a nice gaping hole in the back of my mouth that's impossible to remove crud from without a wee jackhammer and set of dental picks. So I made an appointment right away.

2. I think this qualifies for automatic anti-dentite status.

That was today. At the Twin Cities Dental Center. I found 'em online and they looked professional and stuff despite the fact that their site is IE-surfable only. Thumbs down on that tidbit. I stopped in this morning, filled out the required ream of paperwork and sat patiently while Natasha the dental assistant attempted to see how many sharp edged x-ray slides she could jam in my mouth with all the tenderness of a Nazi nurse. Indeed, after she finished with the head-nuking x-rays and the dentist made his appearance, the likeness to Boris was only lacking the mustache. In fact, I noticed everyone at this place spoke in a Ukrainian accent. Well, like they say in the red motherland, "In USA, you pull tooth -- In Soviet Russia, tooth pulls you."

But I exaggerate a bit. The dentist was quite nice in fact and we were both surprised to find that in 6 years of dental avoidance, I had gone without any new cavities! Yay for my Oral-B vibrator toothbrush. Lucky me, maybe my karma isn't as fucked as I was beginning to suspect. I would however need to fix up the missing filling and two other teeth with either loose or cracked fillings. So is it shoddy dental work from the past or is it that these things wear out after 6 or so years? It turns out that under that missing filling, the tooth is cracked and needs capping. Hopefully that won't turn into a root canal, although Boris warned me that it might be a possibility. Either way, tomorrow I go in to have the work done.

Now I've got a high pain tolerance -- I once went a week with a broken finger without even realizing it, but tomorrow I'm opting for the full sleep mode. I recall the last time that they said there was enough novacaine to kill a cow, but still I could feel each grind of that straight-from-hell high speed drill -- not to mention it's godawful scream. Pain I can handle, but why sit through hours of discomfort when I can take a nap over lunch and wake up when it's over. I just have to remember to check and see that my fly is still zipped afterwards. Wouldn't want to go through what this guy did.