The Rules of Sid

March 22nd, 2007 - 8:32am by Slye Fox
Tags: list pug Sid

  1. Ham and/or Meatballs are the best substances on earth. They must be inhaled immediately until no further trace remains.
  2. The white creature known as "the cat" must go up the stairs.
  3. The back yard territory must be checked and re-marked on a schedule of at least once every fifteen minutes.
  4. Tolerance of the small pink monkey known as "Mira" is required for now. Revenge shall be mine when I've grown bigger.
  5. Chew on things only when the pink monkeys aren't watching. Otherwise chew on sanctioned toys only.
  6. Chewing on "the cat" is okay if no one is looking.
  7. Chewing on my own genitalia is comforting and necessary for proper function.
  8. Any movement outside must be brought to the attention of the pink monkeys by barking. This includes squirrels, birds, leaves, the neighbor and my own poo piles.
  9. Anything found on the floor is edible and should be consumed before the pink monkeys discover it.
  10. The "tail" is my nemesis and shall be destroyed once I catch it.
  11. When the pink monkeys say, "Sid, no! Bad dog." It means try again -- harder.