Can't wait for prison.

March 1st, 2005 - 1:00pm by Badger

How are you doing? Man, I can't believe this thing with Kevin. The day I got Mom's letter with the news was the worst day of my life. I spent the whole day pretty much staring at the wall asking God to let him be okay. Thankfully it looks like he was listening! It's still a tough situation though. I can't imagine what he's going through. Mom said that you're planning on sporting the Mr. Clean look with him -- let me know when you do, I'll join you guys. (All we have to do then is convince Mom and Dick to join us and we can all hang out in robes in the airport! - Well, you guys can hang out anyway.) :)

Mom also said that you were thinking about starting a website for you, me and Kevin when I get to prison - that would be cool. It'll give all the freaky, bondage-inclined, convict fetish girls a chance to write me! I won't be able to check it from the joint, but it's still a neat idea.

Speaking of the joint -- it looks like it'll be a while still before I get there. But in the meantime things are looking up. I just finished my psych eval and should find out this week how nuts I am. It was weird having to do the ink blot test and all that. (All the blots look like stuff that's been run over on the freeway, so I'll probably come out looking like a serial killer.) So I'm glad it's over -- hopefully it won't turn out too bad. Also the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals is reviewing whether or not auto theft should still be considered a crime of violence. If they come out in my favor, it will automatically cut my time in half! Even if the don't, it could give my Judge (who seems to be sympathetic) enough doubt to give me a significantly lesser sentence than what he otherwise would have - so it's win-win wither way! The bad thing is all this keeps kicking my PSI back so it'll probably be at least another 4 months before I go to prison.

At least when I do get there I have a solid idea on how to make some cash. A buddy of mine in here named "Puzzles" spent 8 years in the Fed joint before walking away from camp last year. He said he made hundreds of dollars a month selling homemade cards, handkerchiefs and blank 6"x6" puzzles out of craft catalogs and then all you do is trace a cartoon or some other picture on and sell it for 10 times what it cost to make. Same with cards - order construction paper and lamination paper for a few bucks - trace whatever picture and saying inmates want - laminate and sell for $2-$3 dollars all day long. Puzzles said guys in the joint love to send that stuff home to families and most of them are too lazy to do the work themselves - or they think they can't. It's the same basic gimmick mentality flea markets prey on. He said sex cartoons like the card I made for Kevin are hugs sellers.

I've already got Mom saving anything she sees on the internet that could even remotely be put on a card - (cartoons--especially sexually oriented, flowers, sayings, poems, seasonal stuff--anything.) That way when I get to the joint I've got master copies I can sketch to whatever size I need, trace and mass produce. Also the wider selection I can offer, the more business I can get. If you're willing and you have the time, I'd appreciate whatever help you could offer. Just save to a disk or print out a couple of copies (one for backup) of anything you think could be put on a card or puzzle or handkerchief. Any cartoons, cartoon characters, flowers, seasonal stuff, sayings, poems - doesn't matter what size - I can redraw and resize and piece different stuff together until it works. Especially save anything that involves cartoons and sex. I'd really appreciate it. If I can work up enough of a selection and get a decent client base - I could make enough to pay for college! ($50 a credit for a BA at Florence FCI, Co - it's probably comparable elsewhere.) I figure you probably are on the web enough and get enough emails of cartoons and stuff to really contribute to the cause! Also if you want, tell all your friends to keep an eye peeled for material. This could really be a big opportunity.