A-pile-o-crap-to

December 23rd, 2006 - 12:06pm by Slye Fox

Oops, I mean "Apocalypto". I guess. We went to see this in the theater last night. The Rabbit tried to warn me, but we drug him along anyway. (Hey, two tickets are free that way.) I had decent expectations for this movie. I know, I know. The Jew-hater made it and after enduring The Passion of the Jebus Christ, I should have known better. But believe me, I learned my lesson now. Mel's obsession with shock value and gore is abundantly clear. Not even the Evil Dead holds a candle to this bloody monstrosity.

Not only that, but who the hell wrote the script for this one? I can just see it: "Let's have one of those scenes where someone jumps over a waterfall." (That's original.) "And let's make her give birth in the waterpit as he's fighting off the bad guys. 'Cause that has lots of relevancy." "And let's throw some spaniards on ships in there at the end, like, to show some history or something."

I'll admit, the cast did a fine job portraying their career-ending roles. The sets and camera angles were pretty and fun to watch. But when the lack of a reasonable plot forces sequence after sequence of fantasy action scenes, you're not left with much at the end. Mel is so focused on portraying said action sequences in such violent, bloody, gory detail that the plot and character development become secondary. If he wanted to leave the audience ill and sick to their stomach -- then job well done.

Maybe I'm just miffed because I was looking forward to a nice Last of the Mohicans style film with some insight into Mayan/Aztec culture. Instead I got another Mel Gibson gore-fest devoid of anything worthwhile to absorb. I certainly will keep this in mind if he manages to create another film.