What the hell is that white stuff?

December 21st, 2006 - 3:09pm by Slye Fox

I'd nearly forgotten what snow looked like. But hoo-boy, it's coming down now - ain't it?

Despite it's pretty fluffiness, I can't help but wish it would have at least waited until Saturday after we've driven up north for the holidays. But no - Mother Nature has decided to give us the proverbial unlubed stick by making us drive in this muck. It's not so much the snow that's the problem as the effect it has on the populus majority.

Precipitation = Complete Inability to Drive Rationally

And today's precipitate takes the cake. The morning started with a nice chilling drizzle, culminating in a full on downpour around lunch. Meanwhile the temperature cooperates by continually lowering until the trees, streets, my Jeep and everything else has a nice sturdy layer of thick ice. And then to hide it's trap, nature has covered the mess with a layer of fluffy innocent looking snow. (Innocent until you find yourself spinning 360's into the ditch after hitting the slick spot convealed at the intersection.)

Oh yay - driving in Minnesota will now go back the the standard chaos that's more the norm this time of year. Winter driving here is on par with those youtube videos of busy streets in India or Bangladesh. Pedestrians take their lives into their own hands and if they avoid near death, they shake their fists and swear at you anyway. Most of us presume that 4-wheel drive means you can cruise in your oversized monster-machine in typical asshole fashion - like you can get away with during warmer months. I will be sure to make a point of laughing at your sorry ass freezing in the ditch as I drive by.

Just remember, folks. We all have places to go. Easy does it. You don't have to drive like a geriatric that lost his glasses, but you probably want to at least watch the speed limits and remember that even your Hummer isn't immune to ice. So if you see me on the road in the next few days: STAY THE EFFEN HELL AWAY FROM ME and DON'T SLAM INTO ME DUE TO YOUR OWN STUPIDITY.